This is something I wanted to write about months ago, at graduation, but time gets away. Just as the past eighteen years just disappeared and got away.
This is my daughter. She leaves for college tomorrow. And, I have to brag a bit because I am so proud of her. This kid graduated with a 3.98 GPA. She lettered in high school twelve times between academics, athletics and activites. (TWELVE TIMES! Who does that?) She volunteered in her community. She ended up with a few scholarships. However, perhaps best of all is that she is just a good kid. I'm a worrier and she really gives me very little to worry about.
The past two weeks as I thought about her leaving. I thought I was okay with it. I was even happy, thinking I won't have to worry about her coming home late. I'll have a clean bathroom. Less drama. More time for my boys and my parents. Well, she had had a party friday night to say goodbye to all her friends. I realized how many of her friends have also become my friends. Our house is the hang out house and I'm a few of their second moms. They come to me with their boyfriend problems, school problems, friend problems, and also their joys and achievements! My phone is constantly buzzing with texts from her and them. I love those kids! Now they are off all over Colorado and the country.
My Daughter and I are extremely lucky. We have our conflicts but we are also friends. We go to chick flicks together, shopping. Her poms team and their families were part my social life, and a lot of my business for the past three years. With the music blaring from her room all the time I've learned about bands, and songs, that I love. Boys Like Girls, Rocket Summer, and The Fray. Or, right this second, a really cool remix of the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What you Want". From the moment she comes home she's singing. Singing in her room, singing in the shower, at dinner. Her friends even told me she started humming in the middle of a test one time at school. lol! I guess that's why she was voted, "Most Likely to Win a Grammy" by her classmates. The music is what I will miss most.
I wait for her to get home from school, or going out at nights, because she almost always comes home with a smile on her face, excited to tell me what new guy she likes, or something that happened, or what fun she had. When you say, "How about we go here?", she's always the first to say, "yea, let's do it!" We have tootsie roll parties in her room. We eat tootsie's, watch sappy movies in her bed on her little DVD player or just talk and act goofy. She's just a ray of sunshine that I look forward to seeing everyday.
Even though she will only be an hour away, I know things are going to change. No more high school kids hanging here 24/7. No constant music. Steph will move on and not need me near as much. Which is a good thing. A natural thing. Roots and wings as they say. It's just those wings are very, very hard. A lot harder than I thought. Yep, bawling, big time here, but also excited and glad for all the things to come and all that we will both get to experience.
Bittersweet, I think that's what they call it, and time moves on.